I think I could cry...

There are certainly bigger things going on in the world to worry about and be saddened by.

But this story crushes a childhood dream. Unless I can get myself to California to spin the big wheel before he retires (unlikely). As a child I spent a LOT of time with my grandmother. She taught me to play cards. I would sit by the tv in the living room and watch Mister Roger's and Seasame Street at the age of four while playing solitaire. It was great. But, my grandmother LOVED divorce court and family court and they came on at 11am, so I would trek across the driveway to my great aunt and great uncle's house to watch The Price is Right. My least favorite part of the show was when the contestants would spin the wheel, but at the same time I dreamed of spinning it myself and playing *plinko* A favorite movie of mine is Happy Gilmore and I think the best part is that Bob Barker has a cameo--The Price is Wrong... What a great sense of humor he must have. And that brings me to my favorite quote from the article:

He [Bob Barker] said he'd take on a movie role if the right one came along, but filmmakers, take note: "I refuse to do nude scenes. These Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don't want to be just another beautiful body."

And to be true to Bob, I must remind you: "Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered." (I loved the safe game, because I knew there'd always be puppies shown and the reminder given!)

"Seasonal Adjustment Issue"

I'm tired.

Seems so much has been going on and no matter how much sleep I get or what I do, I'm tired. Mornings have always been rough, but now I handle them even worse. At night anything past 10 and I want to be sleeping! The house is a MESS--understatement. October just seems so busy every year. Thankfully it's almost November! I think things are due to slow down, but am I going to feel better? I try and think of what is causing the lack of motivation, black circles under my eyes, generally disconnected look about me, my shortness with people at work, my depleted energy levels. Really it's sad and I think about how every year around November I get sick and it just stays with me. Then finally I end up with antibiotics and a mono test. This year it has hit me that maybe I have a bit of a "seasonal adjustment issue." I hesitate big time to use the word "depression" because I think it would be doing an injustice to those who do actually suffer from depression. So, I think it's more a bad time of year for me. I make major efforts to be productive, but my heart isn't in it at all. The Patriots play in just 1 hour and I want to go to bed now (8pm!) I am trying to convince myself that I love football and I couldn't stand to miss the game... or could I?

So... does anyone else struggle with a "seasonal adjustment issue?" If so, any remedies?

I'm thinking a short walk after work might give me some energy and help me to sleep better at night, perhaps making mornings more bearable. I think making diet changes will help also.

Now if I could only get the sun to stay out longer! (That would certainly help!)

In other news, my blood sugars are back to normal for the most part. No more CRAZY highs in the ams. I've switched endocrinologists and I think it will be a very good change for me. I've managed to stay on top and satisfied with my diabetes management for almost 2 years now, but I'm looking to dig a little deeper. I also hesitate to give myself A1C goals, so lower numbers are good enough for me, until I reach a point where I just don't feel like lower is better. Vague. But I like it that way, it makes failure less likely to start off without a goal--oh man, I sound like I'm still a college student!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween tomorrow. As a child for Halloween I would receive apples from my neighbor and give all my candy to my brother, but I'd always get a toy! When I got older, my father would bring me to the roller skating rink nearby and I would run into friends and speed around the rink. Up until just last November I still insisted that roller skates and not rollerblades were the way to go. Last November I changed my mind! That's just a random fact-not terribly important. :)

Looking for a little help...

I currently don't wear a medical ID bracelet (gasp!) I did a little stint last summer with one. I really liked it, although it was really noticeable, and I'm not sure I'm ready to go that route again (I lost the old one). Other than that I would say I've spent most of my 18 years with diabetes without one. I've been extremely lucky to have never needed one either, but it's scary to think of what happens when you do need one and you don't wear one.

So, I'd like to see what everyone else wears. Links, photos, etc. Did you get it engraved onto a bracelet, necklace, tattoo? Does anyone know what is acceptable and what's not? What will an EMT check?

Thanks!!! :)

A happy ending every once in a while...

This makes me think more about what types of things I should keep in an emergency bag!

Diabetic driver survives on crackers, dew after crash
POSTED: 9:01 a.m. EDT, October 9, 2006

MONSON, Massachusetts (AP) -- A diabetic driver survived for four days on Wheat Thins and dew after crashing his SUV into thick brush on his way home from work.

Raymond A. Vachon's wife reported the 59-year-old missing on October 3 when he didn't return from his overnight security job in Springfield. He spent four days in and out of consciousness before a dog-walker heard him yelling for help Saturday morning.

Vachon later told police he had lost control of his SUV around 5 a.m. and crashed about 30 feet into the brush along Route 32. His leg was fractured, and Vachon, who is dependent on insulin, was unconscious.

Read More

pumping insulin!

I was looking at old blog entries from my other blog--which I think has died, but I hold out hope for its revival, and found this one, which reminded me of my starting on the pump just over a year ago.
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Syringes and such
It has been over 24 hours since I last gave myself a shot AND my blood sugars have been mostly normal! This has not happened in 18 years. As a matter of fact, I have given or gotten upwards of 16,000 injections of insulin in those 18 years and I've hated every single one just as much as the one before it. You never get used to it--so if I ever told you that-- well I straight out lied. Sure they don't hurt in a physical pain sense so much, but they do hurt sometimes. And they always suck internally. Now, I still have to think about what I'm doing and each time I eat there is a consequential action--however, there are NO shots :) I've thus far missed 3 injections. wahoo.
3 shots/day v. 1 shot/3 days. sweet.

Next step- new pancreas (wish it were that easy!)

:)
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My audience at the time(of maybe 3/4 readers) were people with no frame of reference outside of what they saw in me for diabetes. Which hadn't been much up until about 9 months previous to this post. I was able to drop my A1C an amazing amount (in my mind) in just 9 months and was able to do this using an NPH and Humalog regimen-just awful, but my body's allergy to Lantus did me in. So my switch to the pump was glorious! I had a few reasons to switch--some good, some were more humorous, I think.

So here's some reasons:

1. Better control. NPH really sucked.
2. No more shots. I think that's pretty evident from the above post :) In college there were nights that I would lie in bed and fight with myself on the importance of getting up and taking my bedtime shot. Most of the time I won the battle, but there were nights that I went to bed without the shot--laziness at it's best. Also a lack of desire to control the disease--it controlled me. ugh.
3. Shots in the car. Yep, I wonder how many people test while driving? Ever drawn up insulin and injected while driving? Yeah, hmm, maybe not the safest of options, but it happened.


Honestly, I think those were my driving reasons. The better control was already there... I dropped my A1C 3 points in 9 months, but the shots were just sooooo annoying.

Anywho, please comfort me that I am not the only one who ever did the things mentioned in #3 or I guess, I'd rather you don't lie to me if no one else has.

hmm.

If I owned a laptop...

there would be a post here.

hmm.


:)